You commit a mistake; you say you won't ever do it again. You commit the mistake again, you again say, “I won't ever do it again". You commit the mistake again and say the same, but will you really ever do it again?
I don't know if this is something that has happened with you before, but its something that has happened to me recently. Someone rightly said me once, "You think too much!". That someone was right. Perhaps, I really think too much, I spent an hour and a half thinking the same lying on the bed to search for sleep, from about 3 AM to 4:30 AM, but I couldn't find a solution except I really mean this time, "I won't ever do it again".
It dates back to 2003, when we were script kiddies (script kiddies are esp teens who use lame ways like readymade scripts and softwares to deface websites and similar acts). We used to disturb others using such lame ways to break in and invade their privacy. That was the time I should have learnt it wasn't something we were supposed to do, even when you know such things. But where will you practice the stuff that you've learnt for the same? The answer was you're doing it for good cause, you're learning something - "keep invading the privacy of others, you will learn!”
It was time when we graduated from being script kiddies to programmers when we learnt the scripts on our own. And luckily, we were able to design those softwares ourselves that we used some days back to hack into others. I remember that moment, when that software worked. I remember that moment when we practically used it to annoy someone from our class, it was some 11:00 PM time, I don't remember the day. I thanked god for it was working, it was something that I could call my own - it was a Trojan. Though a small application, it was capable of annoying anyone on a large scale. Some days later we discovered something whose improved version is now called 'phising'. That thing, what we designed on our own gave us 100s of passwords.
The other computers section of III year was learning at the same pace. They had some guys in their class who were big techies as they used to call. And then an altercation between the Section-A and Section-B which was to find an answer to the question – which one of us is better technically? It was some healthy competition. We defaced a website that belonged to one of the techie guys in their class, and one group of that class. I don't know if many of those people know we did that. We used some 'urdu' font and pressed random keys, and that looked like someone from Pakistan or some Arab country did that. We were afraid of being caught. I remember the time when we did that and came out of the cafe we used to deface it all, we were afraid of being caught of doing such a thing. We used to imagine our director taking actions against us. But it didn't turn out that way.
But sometimes we did use this knowledge for a constructive work, rather than the destructive one we loved. We created this website for the newbie hackers: http://www.securityexplored.tk .We once got a worldwide acclaim for our article at Astalavista which was "Virus Removal in 2 Minutes". That website still exists, but hasn't been updated since long time. We used to get queries from people around the world regarding viruses, ans other such problems. It was a dream come true, something I never thought would ever happen.
We then used to get numerous IDs from our friends in class that they wanted to be hacked, perhaps their bfs and gfs. We did that for sometime, it was fun. But now I curse myself for what I've done, invading privacy of numerous I don't even know about, I did that for friends though. Its not the things above that make me think that way, but the recent three or four instances.
She was an internet friend of mine who told me her name was Name1 (say) and gave me identity of herself like where she lived and all. Cancerians are intuitive. I thought like she wasn't true. Now, I really wanted to know who she really was. I hacked into her account and I was stunned, she wasn't close to what she used to tell me. She was someone else, her real name being Name2 (say). Next time she met me, I asked her why did she lie to me? And I found the answer as, "Just for fun". I was thrilled. She asked me why did you break into my account, I said "Just for fun". She's still a good friend of mine.
Another friend who used to say me, she was from Haryana. Perhaps it was intuition that really helped me again. I decided to check what she told was really truth? After I was done with the research I found she was in US. I told her, the university she was enrolled in, the university's network name she was using, and the system number and name she was sitting on and then I asked, "Why did you lie now?". I don't remember the exact answer but it was something like, "Just like that, I didn't feel like telling the truth". She's still a good friend, and I trust her now somehow she tells the truth.
The next instance was something that taught me a good lesson. Someone tempted me to do it, saying, "Do it if you can." and it seemed like a challenge. I somehow did and gave a reply, and I got these words in my reply's reply: "Next time if you try to do it with anyone, think before you act!". I swore I won't ever do it again, but I did.
I know I'm such a jerk. It’s one of the rare times when you hate yourself for what you've done in the past. Some PS' in this very blog's entries had a confession, I speak harsh at times. And later you regret for what you've spoken. Once it’s out it can't be back. I really don't think before I act. Someone rightly said, filter the action and the word once in your mind before you're to going to say it, or implement it. I haven't done it at times. Forgiveness is god's greatest gift but not for a person like me, I thought last night. But still I can't say anything except, "I will never ever do it again!” I hate myself for I never learnt from the mistakes.
Why have I included the past when its just some recent instances responsible for the same? Someone rightly said to me once, "You just think too much, name 'over thinking' in one of your weaknesses when you go out for interviews".
-------------------
Word of the day:
reverberate
Pronunciation: (—v.ri-vûr'bu-rāt";—adj.ri-vûr'bur-it),
—v., -ated, -ating,—adj. —v.i.
I don't know if this is something that has happened with you before, but its something that has happened to me recently. Someone rightly said me once, "You think too much!". That someone was right. Perhaps, I really think too much, I spent an hour and a half thinking the same lying on the bed to search for sleep, from about 3 AM to 4:30 AM, but I couldn't find a solution except I really mean this time, "I won't ever do it again".
It dates back to 2003, when we were script kiddies (script kiddies are esp teens who use lame ways like readymade scripts and softwares to deface websites and similar acts). We used to disturb others using such lame ways to break in and invade their privacy. That was the time I should have learnt it wasn't something we were supposed to do, even when you know such things. But where will you practice the stuff that you've learnt for the same? The answer was you're doing it for good cause, you're learning something - "keep invading the privacy of others, you will learn!”
It was time when we graduated from being script kiddies to programmers when we learnt the scripts on our own. And luckily, we were able to design those softwares ourselves that we used some days back to hack into others. I remember that moment, when that software worked. I remember that moment when we practically used it to annoy someone from our class, it was some 11:00 PM time, I don't remember the day. I thanked god for it was working, it was something that I could call my own - it was a Trojan. Though a small application, it was capable of annoying anyone on a large scale. Some days later we discovered something whose improved version is now called 'phising'. That thing, what we designed on our own gave us 100s of passwords.
The other computers section of III year was learning at the same pace. They had some guys in their class who were big techies as they used to call. And then an altercation between the Section-A and Section-B which was to find an answer to the question – which one of us is better technically? It was some healthy competition. We defaced a website that belonged to one of the techie guys in their class, and one group of that class. I don't know if many of those people know we did that. We used some 'urdu' font and pressed random keys, and that looked like someone from Pakistan or some Arab country did that. We were afraid of being caught. I remember the time when we did that and came out of the cafe we used to deface it all, we were afraid of being caught of doing such a thing. We used to imagine our director taking actions against us. But it didn't turn out that way.
But sometimes we did use this knowledge for a constructive work, rather than the destructive one we loved. We created this website for the newbie hackers: http://www.securityexplored.tk .We once got a worldwide acclaim for our article at Astalavista which was "Virus Removal in 2 Minutes". That website still exists, but hasn't been updated since long time. We used to get queries from people around the world regarding viruses, ans other such problems. It was a dream come true, something I never thought would ever happen.
We then used to get numerous IDs from our friends in class that they wanted to be hacked, perhaps their bfs and gfs. We did that for sometime, it was fun. But now I curse myself for what I've done, invading privacy of numerous I don't even know about, I did that for friends though. Its not the things above that make me think that way, but the recent three or four instances.
She was an internet friend of mine who told me her name was Name1 (say) and gave me identity of herself like where she lived and all. Cancerians are intuitive. I thought like she wasn't true. Now, I really wanted to know who she really was. I hacked into her account and I was stunned, she wasn't close to what she used to tell me. She was someone else, her real name being Name2 (say). Next time she met me, I asked her why did she lie to me? And I found the answer as, "Just for fun". I was thrilled. She asked me why did you break into my account, I said "Just for fun". She's still a good friend of mine.
Another friend who used to say me, she was from Haryana. Perhaps it was intuition that really helped me again. I decided to check what she told was really truth? After I was done with the research I found she was in US. I told her, the university she was enrolled in, the university's network name she was using, and the system number and name she was sitting on and then I asked, "Why did you lie now?". I don't remember the exact answer but it was something like, "Just like that, I didn't feel like telling the truth". She's still a good friend, and I trust her now somehow she tells the truth.
The next instance was something that taught me a good lesson. Someone tempted me to do it, saying, "Do it if you can." and it seemed like a challenge. I somehow did and gave a reply, and I got these words in my reply's reply: "Next time if you try to do it with anyone, think before you act!". I swore I won't ever do it again, but I did.
I know I'm such a jerk. It’s one of the rare times when you hate yourself for what you've done in the past. Some PS' in this very blog's entries had a confession, I speak harsh at times. And later you regret for what you've spoken. Once it’s out it can't be back. I really don't think before I act. Someone rightly said, filter the action and the word once in your mind before you're to going to say it, or implement it. I haven't done it at times. Forgiveness is god's greatest gift but not for a person like me, I thought last night. But still I can't say anything except, "I will never ever do it again!” I hate myself for I never learnt from the mistakes.
Why have I included the past when its just some recent instances responsible for the same? Someone rightly said to me once, "You just think too much, name 'over thinking' in one of your weaknesses when you go out for interviews".
-------------------
Word of the day:
reverberate
Pronunciation: (—v.ri-vûr'bu-rāt";—adj.ri-vûr'bur-it),
—v., -ated, -ating,—adj. —v.i.
- to reecho or resound: Her singing reverberated through the house.
- Physics.to be reflected many times, as sound waves from the walls of a confined space.
- to rebound or recoil.
- to be deflected, as flame in a reverberatory furnace.
—v.t.
- 1. to echo back or reecho (sound).
- to cast back or reflect (light, heat, etc.).
- to subject to reflected heat, as in a reverberatory furnace. ''
—adj. reverberant.
posted by codeextracts at 5:31 PM
4 Comments:
nice post... and very true...
U kept me thinking for a while :)
hmmmmm...guess what?? people hav said this thing to me too a lot of times "You think a lot."..and i still think quite a lot..anyways..and another thing... have read this line somewhere: "If u keep doing the same thing in the same way,u will keep getting the same results"..
liked ur blog.. blogrolled u:)
Donno what ot say,but guess its all part of the human nature,we do the same things again and again,right or wrong? no idea.Probably we cannot decide it at that moment.
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